I'm going to keep this address, but I thought it might be fitting with all of the recent life change to change it up a bit in the blogosphere. Therefore, I have begun a new blog and I invite you to check it out. I call it... the barista monologues. Check it out at www.baristamonologues.blogspot.com. See you there.
Todd
5.22.2008
5.07.2008
Well, it's been an amazing week. Solveigh Elise Bratulich was born last Tuesday, April 29th at 8:49am right here in St. Paul, MN. I can't even begin to describe how much fun it is to be a dad! We are so grateful for the incredible support we have seen from our family and friends over this past week. Now, as the journey of parenthood begins, I am confident that the love and care that we have received from so many of you will continue on and overflow on to our beautiful daughter Solveigh. Here's a peek at the little peanut if you haven't yet got to see a picture.
2.24.2008
on parenting... part 2
JW's comment on my earlier post entitled "on parenting" is a thoughtful response to my seemingly pollyanna conception of God's activity in parenthood. I do not deny that human nature and simple biology are what have "given" Jenni and I a child, nor did I intend to imply that being "entrusted" with parenting a child has anything to do with ones fit-ness to parent. Indeed, I think a recognition of child-rearing as a very human enterprise involving choice, action and consequence is needed for parenting thoughtfully and responsibly. Yet, I do not want to lose the sense of wonder which was the impetus of my previous post. I reject the reductionist approach to life that boils everything down to cause-effectual relationships. At the same time, I also reject the too often typical, evangelical spiritualization of nearly everything (which I gather may have given rise to my critic's likening me to Chuck Swindoll). We should most certainly be carefully what we attribute to God, if not how.
Those of you who know me well know that the mere mention of blood or simply setting foot in a hospital immediately makes me queasy. Jenni has joked ad-nauseum about how I will likely need more medical attention from the doctors once we're at the hospital to give birth. Birth is a messy, bloody ordeal. I don't speak from experience of course, but I did force myself to watch a birth video last week. Yeah... queasy. At the same time, I cannot imagine a more beautiful, more miraculous, more God-given gift than life. Now, I recognize that we often take our gifts and smash them, that we are prone to act selfishly and destructively out of our own self-hatred, the consequences of which explain why my friend JW has great job security as a family therapist.
Nonetheless, I agree with JW that we have been given choices, brains, natural laws, and from a trinitarian perspective, the Holy Spirit to guide us in parenting. It is a much more layered, complex and holistic enterprise than what I had articulated in my previous post. In fact, the complexity draws me even deeper into wonder and causes me to enter fatherhood with an even greater sense of humility. I ended my previous post with a comment that the journey ahead will be one of faith and not of sight. To elaborate, I do not see faith as blind resignation, but active and imaginative. The book of Hebrews puts it like this, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the assurance of things not yet seen." Hebrews 12:1 NRSV
The journey of faith that I anticipate is one full of hope and vision. It is hopeful in that I believe that our family will create space for self-giving love, that our child(ren) will be given the grace to explore and become whole selves in the context of intimacy and community. It is full of imagination and vision in that I believe that we will find new ways of being as a family. Certainly we will bring both a healthy legacy and some unhealthy baggage from our respective families of origin, but we also have the opportunity to create or recreate what our family will become. I fully expect fatherhood to transform me, as any intimate relationship should. It will transform Jenni's and my marriage, our values, ideas and our ways of being God's beloved. I should hope that I am not simply one who seeks comfort and then likes to set up camp. Rather, I imagine, indeed I hope that parenting will be unsettling. In my experience, it is usually in the places of destabilization that transformation occurs most profoundly.
Thanks JW for inviting me to reflect more deeply on this one!
Those of you who know me well know that the mere mention of blood or simply setting foot in a hospital immediately makes me queasy. Jenni has joked ad-nauseum about how I will likely need more medical attention from the doctors once we're at the hospital to give birth. Birth is a messy, bloody ordeal. I don't speak from experience of course, but I did force myself to watch a birth video last week. Yeah... queasy. At the same time, I cannot imagine a more beautiful, more miraculous, more God-given gift than life. Now, I recognize that we often take our gifts and smash them, that we are prone to act selfishly and destructively out of our own self-hatred, the consequences of which explain why my friend JW has great job security as a family therapist.
Nonetheless, I agree with JW that we have been given choices, brains, natural laws, and from a trinitarian perspective, the Holy Spirit to guide us in parenting. It is a much more layered, complex and holistic enterprise than what I had articulated in my previous post. In fact, the complexity draws me even deeper into wonder and causes me to enter fatherhood with an even greater sense of humility. I ended my previous post with a comment that the journey ahead will be one of faith and not of sight. To elaborate, I do not see faith as blind resignation, but active and imaginative. The book of Hebrews puts it like this, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the assurance of things not yet seen." Hebrews 12:1 NRSV
The journey of faith that I anticipate is one full of hope and vision. It is hopeful in that I believe that our family will create space for self-giving love, that our child(ren) will be given the grace to explore and become whole selves in the context of intimacy and community. It is full of imagination and vision in that I believe that we will find new ways of being as a family. Certainly we will bring both a healthy legacy and some unhealthy baggage from our respective families of origin, but we also have the opportunity to create or recreate what our family will become. I fully expect fatherhood to transform me, as any intimate relationship should. It will transform Jenni's and my marriage, our values, ideas and our ways of being God's beloved. I should hope that I am not simply one who seeks comfort and then likes to set up camp. Rather, I imagine, indeed I hope that parenting will be unsettling. In my experience, it is usually in the places of destabilization that transformation occurs most profoundly.
Thanks JW for inviting me to reflect more deeply on this one!
2.04.2008
unemployed
I think the last time I was unemployed was a short stretch between flippin' burgers at Buck Hill for the free season pass and my glorious career as a pizza artist at Dominoes my senior year of high school. I've been a responsible working citizen for 20 years now, well... until today at least. Yep, it all began with my first paper route delivering the southeast metro edition of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. I'll admit that I was never all that fond of waking up at 4:30am every weekend to hit the pavement on my Steve Caballero skateboard, paperboy bag slung over the shoulder, skaterbangs flapping in the wind. Yet, I couldn't resist lining my pockets with the 13 crisp greenbacks that I earned every two weeks. It's true, I was all about the Benjamins... well, actually the Washingtons.
But it didn't end there. At a mere 14 years old, still considered among many to be but a child, I joined the ranks of burger flipper at Burger King, and then on to chicken fryer and customer service representative at KFC. I climbed through the ranks fast, a rising star among fast food giants. Onward and upward I rose... camp counselor, then youth pastor, on to mission leader, even program director! But now it has all come to a crashing halt. Unemployed. Laying on my couch, posting a blog. What have I become? Who am I if I do not work?
Identity is a powerful thing. If we are not careful, we begin to believe that we are the sum of what we do. What a tragic life if that is the case. I think maybe it is good for me to be unemployed. How else would I deconstruct this idol that I have too often worshipped, call it work, call it ministry, call it what you will. Whatever you call it, it is a false identity, an idol of our own construction, and it needs to be smashed. So here's to being unemployed! Let the demolition begin!
But it didn't end there. At a mere 14 years old, still considered among many to be but a child, I joined the ranks of burger flipper at Burger King, and then on to chicken fryer and customer service representative at KFC. I climbed through the ranks fast, a rising star among fast food giants. Onward and upward I rose... camp counselor, then youth pastor, on to mission leader, even program director! But now it has all come to a crashing halt. Unemployed. Laying on my couch, posting a blog. What have I become? Who am I if I do not work?
Identity is a powerful thing. If we are not careful, we begin to believe that we are the sum of what we do. What a tragic life if that is the case. I think maybe it is good for me to be unemployed. How else would I deconstruct this idol that I have too often worshipped, call it work, call it ministry, call it what you will. Whatever you call it, it is a false identity, an idol of our own construction, and it needs to be smashed. So here's to being unemployed! Let the demolition begin!
12.06.2007
New directions
Well, I have now officially announced that after 5 1/2 years, I am going to be moving on from YouthWorks in order to pursue some new directions in my life. I'm not quite sure what this next season will hold, but Jenni and I are excited for what lies ahead. Right now the plan is to try to find something part-time while I begin to work on going back to school for my PhD. We are also looking at spending anywhere from a semester to a year overseas with Nacel (Jenni's employer) at one of their international schools. I haven't been in this kind of a place of transition for quite a while and though it is a bit scary at times, I must say that it is exhilarating to take a drastic step of faith and walk out into the unknown.
As a youth pastor and a missions leader I have talked a lot about taking steps of faith. Like so many things it is much easier said than done. I cannot imagine that these steps will be free of confusion or pain, but it is good to know that we are loved by a God who walks with us, who says to us, "Do not fear, for I am with you." So here we go, stepping out into the unknown... and yet I think, is this step really any different from any other step? I have often thought that I've known where I was headed, but in truth every day, every step, every decision is really an act of faith. And what's probably even more true is that every breath is really an act of God.
As a youth pastor and a missions leader I have talked a lot about taking steps of faith. Like so many things it is much easier said than done. I cannot imagine that these steps will be free of confusion or pain, but it is good to know that we are loved by a God who walks with us, who says to us, "Do not fear, for I am with you." So here we go, stepping out into the unknown... and yet I think, is this step really any different from any other step? I have often thought that I've known where I was headed, but in truth every day, every step, every decision is really an act of faith. And what's probably even more true is that every breath is really an act of God.
11.15.2007
on parenting...
Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
In keeping with the promise of my previous post, I will try to collect here some thoughts on becoming a parent. I don't know how to adequately express the immense joy and incredible weight that I feel as I think about the prospect of parenting. Jenni and I are so grateful for the new life that is growwing in her. To think that God would entrust us to love and raise the most precious of God's creation is humbling to say the least. There is nothing like the mirror of a child to remind us of how broken we truly are. The accountability frightens me and causes me to be grateful at the same time. A little truth telling is never a bad thing though it can sting quite a bit. I look forward to this journey, for it is sure to be a journey of faith and not of sight. I only pray for mercy as Jenni and I stumble through the darkness of parenting, for I am confident that much will be revealed as we drawn out into the light which is the grace and mercy of God.
In keeping with the promise of my previous post, I will try to collect here some thoughts on becoming a parent. I don't know how to adequately express the immense joy and incredible weight that I feel as I think about the prospect of parenting. Jenni and I are so grateful for the new life that is growwing in her. To think that God would entrust us to love and raise the most precious of God's creation is humbling to say the least. There is nothing like the mirror of a child to remind us of how broken we truly are. The accountability frightens me and causes me to be grateful at the same time. A little truth telling is never a bad thing though it can sting quite a bit. I look forward to this journey, for it is sure to be a journey of faith and not of sight. I only pray for mercy as Jenni and I stumble through the darkness of parenting, for I am confident that much will be revealed as we drawn out into the light which is the grace and mercy of God.
10.20.2007
Vancouver
Jenni and I are in Vancouver, BC visiting Jordan and Sarah. I don't believe that I have blogged since we found out that we are pregnant! So, I apologize if this is the first place where you are hearing the news. I will soon take some time to write about the prospect of becoming a father. In the mean time, I have about 15 minutes until Jenni and Sarah show up at Regent (where Jordan goes to school) for lunch. I had a campus visit yesterday with someone from the admissions departmentas I am inquiring about their ThM program. This morning I joined Jordan in his class entitled "Christian Education and Equipping". I was initially hoping to visit a theology class or something that I percieved to be a bit more academically rigorous being that many of my previous experiences with seminary courses in christian education is that they are predominantly focused on methodology and tend to lack in the way of theological reflection. I was pleasantly surprised by the course this morning and look forward to checking more into their concentration on "spiritual theology". I am learning that Regent has a great reputation for interdisciplinary work and a rich tradition of engaging the realm of spiritual formation. It is great to get a chance to spend some time here and get a firsthand look at the culture of the school and the city. Nonetheless, more about having a baby in my next post.
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