peace

I have done this so infrequently that every time I sit down to enter a post, I have no idea what to write about. So I think to myself, should I write about the insanity of this fast paced society that keeps me from wrtiting? Or should I stop pointing the finger at society to expain away my own inability to develop disciplines such as posting on my blog? What is worth writing about anyways? It would be easier if I always just wrote about politics or international affairs or social justice issues, etc... Then I could at least rant about my opinions and be yet another person out there complaining about the status quo and doing little or nothing to change it. All the while the most meaningful elements of my life are the things that I often think no one would really care to read about on a blog, especially if they don't know the people involved. But who the heck reads my blog anyways?! So if today's words are not filled with deep insights and earth shattering revelations, well then... too bad. This is much closer to home, much more meaningful and to me, much more worth writing than all the articles I agree or disagree with in the editorials section of the Pioneer Press (wow... now I know I'm a St. Paul guy). Nonetheless, today, the most exciting part of my day was having an argument with my wife over sushi. O.k. to clarify, we didn't exactly argue about sushi, we just ate sushi while we argued. And it wasn't so much of an argument as it was a revealing of ourselves to one another, which, if you've done much revealing of yourself, does not always give you that peaceful, easy feeling. It's much easier to swallow my ideas, opinions and feelings in an effort to appease my wife and keep the proverbial peace. But I'm finally starting to learn that that kind of peace, is not really peace at all. That kind of peace is isolation, a let's keep everyone happy on the surface kind of peace, a peace that Jesus questioned when he said, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Don't get me wrong, I'm not against peace, but peace is not really peace when it forces you to hide. And among the plethora of things that these last 9 months of marriage have been teaching me, one is my own tendency to hide. It is such a dillusional temptation! I can be so fearful of disturbing the peace and being rejected by my beloved Jenni, the one who has promised her whole self to me, who knows me more than any other, who not only loves me so much, but so well, that I would hide my self from her in order to protect myself from her. What a selfish, not to mention foolish response! Why would I not rather bare myself before my beloved and risk the hurt of rejection but at the same time hope in the beauty of being known and loved even though I may not be agreed with! I can only conclude that fear has stopped me in the past and may stop me in the future. But as for today, I take joy in arguments over sushi, in the revealing of myself and my beloved, in yet another risk that did not end up in rejection, but rather intimacy.

true religion

I visited with Alice on her front patio in International Falls, MN yesterday and she told me that she dosn't want a computer because every internet relationship she has ever seen has been nothing but bad news. She then proceeded to share 3 specific examples with me of disasterous internet romances. I don't blame you Alice, who needs all that trouble! Alice is 90 yrs old and thrilled that there is a group of teenagers helping her paint her house this week. She made sandwiches and lemonade spent all day talking with those students and telling them stories. As I left her house a phrase from the book of James, chapter 1 verse 27 entered my head and challenged my heart, "true religion is this, to care for orphans and widows in their need..."

Then I thought about my Grandma who passed away a few years ago. She was in a nursing home with ahlzeimers for a couple years and I think I visited her about 4 times. When I used to feel guilty about it I would remind myself that I wasn't able to get down there much because I was usually busy doing church stuff. Now as I look back, I think a lot of the church stuff we do is a waste of time.

So here's my question... Why do we spend so much time doing church? Is there anything in doing church that is actually helping us be the church?

intro

extrospective? the observation of things external, the expression of things internal, the intersection of ideas and action, of faith and reason, of the public and the private, the integration of self, society, spirituality, humanity...

For some time now I've dreamt of an environment where a genuine dialogue of questions, thoughts and ideas could take place. A place where I could offer the thoughts of my everyday existence that so often remain hidden away to the table to be discussed, expanded, contrasted, critiqued, and even occasionally embraced. A place where there is freedom to express opinions and ideas and be challenged by the ideas or opinions of another. A place for well informed dialogue about things that matter both on the micro and macro levels. A place to dream, to debate, to explore and expand our worldview together. The boundary lines are intentionally broad, just about any idea is fair game so long as it is not destructive or hateful. So I invite you to post and I have great hope that as you do, you will further open my mind and soften my heart. I only pray that my every post does the same for you.