Jesus Trailing in GOP Primary Exit Polls

Scripture reading: Mark 8:31-38

If Jesus ran for president, I’m sure he’d get wiped out in the primaries. You just can’t go around saying the kind of stuff Jesus said and expect people to follow you! I mean, can you blame the disciples for their confusion when Jesus, their supposed Messiah, the one who was supposed to save and deliver them from their enemies, gives a rousing speech about how his path to victory is to go through rejection, suffering and to be killed. Talk about soft on defense! That kind of talk isn’t likely to rouse the base, much less win the independents.

I’d love for Jesus to be a populist. I’d love a God who tells me what I want to hear and always makes me out to be the hero. I’d even settle for a realist, a God who tells it straight, who isn’t afraid to ask me to do my fair share, so long as I get my fair share on the other end. But this Jesus, the Jesus that Mark is talking about, I don’t get him. All of this talk about denying self, of losing your life, and taking up your cross, what kind of a platform is that?!

It all seems a bit excessive. I mean, have you heard this guy talk? “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the Gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?” Look, I’m not trying to “gain the whole world” here, I’m just hoping to secure my own little piece of it.

Update:

Well, It's been a while since my last post - and lots has changed... Solveigh is 15 months and full of personality, I am no longer at Starbucks (and thus the end of the barista monologues), taught high school at St. Paul Prep for a year (lots of fun!), have been home with Solveigh all summer and am now getting ready to begin a new chapter. I'm preparing for re-entry into congregational ministry and could not be more excited about it. Nonetheless, I am confident this journey will provide plenty of fodder for extrospection. More to come soon...

new blog site

I'm going to keep this address, but I thought it might be fitting with all of the recent life change to change it up a bit in the blogosphere. Therefore, I have begun a new blog and I invite you to check it out. I call it... the barista monologues. Check it out at www.baristamonologues.blogspot.com. See you there.

Todd

Well, it's been an amazing week. Solveigh Elise Bratulich was born last Tuesday, April 29th at 8:49am right here in St. Paul, MN. I can't even begin to describe how much fun it is to be a dad! We are so grateful for the incredible support we have seen from our family and friends over this past week. Now, as the journey of parenthood begins, I am confident that the love and care that we have received from so many of you will continue on and overflow on to our beautiful daughter Solveigh. Here's a peek at the little peanut if you haven't yet got to see a picture.

on parenting... part 2

JW's comment on my earlier post entitled "on parenting" is a thoughtful response to my seemingly pollyanna conception of God's activity in parenthood. I do not deny that human nature and simple biology are what have "given" Jenni and I a child, nor did I intend to imply that being "entrusted" with parenting a child has anything to do with ones fit-ness to parent. Indeed, I think a recognition of child-rearing as a very human enterprise involving choice, action and consequence is needed for parenting thoughtfully and responsibly. Yet, I do not want to lose the sense of wonder which was the impetus of my previous post. I reject the reductionist approach to life that boils everything down to cause-effectual relationships. At the same time, I also reject the too often typical, evangelical spiritualization of nearly everything (which I gather may have given rise to my critic's likening me to Chuck Swindoll). We should most certainly be carefully what we attribute to God, if not how.

Those of you who know me well know that the mere mention of blood or simply setting foot in a hospital immediately makes me queasy. Jenni has joked ad-nauseum about how I will likely need more medical attention from the doctors once we're at the hospital to give birth. Birth is a messy, bloody ordeal. I don't speak from experience of course, but I did force myself to watch a birth video last week. Yeah... queasy. At the same time, I cannot imagine a more beautiful, more miraculous, more God-given gift than life. Now, I recognize that we often take our gifts and smash them, that we are prone to act selfishly and destructively out of our own self-hatred, the consequences of which explain why my friend JW has great job security as a family therapist.

Nonetheless, I agree with JW that we have been given choices, brains, natural laws, and from a trinitarian perspective, the Holy Spirit to guide us in parenting. It is a much more layered, complex and holistic enterprise than what I had articulated in my previous post. In fact, the complexity draws me even deeper into wonder and causes me to enter fatherhood with an even greater sense of humility. I ended my previous post with a comment that the journey ahead will be one of faith and not of sight. To elaborate, I do not see faith as blind resignation, but active and imaginative. The book of Hebrews puts it like this, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the assurance of things not yet seen." Hebrews 12:1 NRSV

The journey of faith that I anticipate is one full of hope and vision. It is hopeful in that I believe that our family will create space for self-giving love, that our child(ren) will be given the grace to explore and become whole selves in the context of intimacy and community. It is full of imagination and vision in that I believe that we will find new ways of being as a family. Certainly we will bring both a healthy legacy and some unhealthy baggage from our respective families of origin, but we also have the opportunity to create or recreate what our family will become. I fully expect fatherhood to transform me, as any intimate relationship should. It will transform Jenni's and my marriage, our values, ideas and our ways of being God's beloved. I should hope that I am not simply one who seeks comfort and then likes to set up camp. Rather, I imagine, indeed I hope that parenting will be unsettling. In my experience, it is usually in the places of destabilization that transformation occurs most profoundly.

Thanks JW for inviting me to reflect more deeply on this one!

unemployed

I think the last time I was unemployed was a short stretch between flippin' burgers at Buck Hill for the free season pass and my glorious career as a pizza artist at Dominoes my senior year of high school. I've been a responsible working citizen for 20 years now, well... until today at least. Yep, it all began with my first paper route delivering the southeast metro edition of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. I'll admit that I was never all that fond of waking up at 4:30am every weekend to hit the pavement on my Steve Caballero skateboard, paperboy bag slung over the shoulder, skaterbangs flapping in the wind. Yet, I couldn't resist lining my pockets with the 13 crisp greenbacks that I earned every two weeks. It's true, I was all about the Benjamins... well, actually the Washingtons.

But it didn't end there. At a mere 14 years old, still considered among many to be but a child, I joined the ranks of burger flipper at Burger King, and then on to chicken fryer and customer service representative at KFC. I climbed through the ranks fast, a rising star among fast food giants. Onward and upward I rose... camp counselor, then youth pastor, on to mission leader, even program director! But now it has all come to a crashing halt. Unemployed. Laying on my couch, posting a blog. What have I become? Who am I if I do not work?

Identity is a powerful thing. If we are not careful, we begin to believe that we are the sum of what we do. What a tragic life if that is the case. I think maybe it is good for me to be unemployed. How else would I deconstruct this idol that I have too often worshipped, call it work, call it ministry, call it what you will. Whatever you call it, it is a false identity, an idol of our own construction, and it needs to be smashed. So here's to being unemployed! Let the demolition begin!

New directions

Well, I have now officially announced that after 5 1/2 years, I am going to be moving on from YouthWorks in order to pursue some new directions in my life. I'm not quite sure what this next season will hold, but Jenni and I are excited for what lies ahead. Right now the plan is to try to find something part-time while I begin to work on going back to school for my PhD. We are also looking at spending anywhere from a semester to a year overseas with Nacel (Jenni's employer) at one of their international schools. I haven't been in this kind of a place of transition for quite a while and though it is a bit scary at times, I must say that it is exhilarating to take a drastic step of faith and walk out into the unknown.

As a youth pastor and a missions leader I have talked a lot about taking steps of faith. Like so many things it is much easier said than done. I cannot imagine that these steps will be free of confusion or pain, but it is good to know that we are loved by a God who walks with us, who says to us, "Do not fear, for I am with you." So here we go, stepping out into the unknown... and yet I think, is this step really any different from any other step? I have often thought that I've known where I was headed, but in truth every day, every step, every decision is really an act of faith. And what's probably even more true is that every breath is really an act of God.

on parenting...

Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

In keeping with the promise of my previous post, I will try to collect here some thoughts on becoming a parent. I don't know how to adequately express the immense joy and incredible weight that I feel as I think about the prospect of parenting. Jenni and I are so grateful for the new life that is growwing in her. To think that God would entrust us to love and raise the most precious of God's creation is humbling to say the least. There is nothing like the mirror of a child to remind us of how broken we truly are. The accountability frightens me and causes me to be grateful at the same time. A little truth telling is never a bad thing though it can sting quite a bit. I look forward to this journey, for it is sure to be a journey of faith and not of sight. I only pray for mercy as Jenni and I stumble through the darkness of parenting, for I am confident that much will be revealed as we drawn out into the light which is the grace and mercy of God.

Vancouver

Jenni and I are in Vancouver, BC visiting Jordan and Sarah. I don't believe that I have blogged since we found out that we are pregnant! So, I apologize if this is the first place where you are hearing the news. I will soon take some time to write about the prospect of becoming a father. In the mean time, I have about 15 minutes until Jenni and Sarah show up at Regent (where Jordan goes to school) for lunch. I had a campus visit yesterday with someone from the admissions departmentas I am inquiring about their ThM program. This morning I joined Jordan in his class entitled "Christian Education and Equipping". I was initially hoping to visit a theology class or something that I percieved to be a bit more academically rigorous being that many of my previous experiences with seminary courses in christian education is that they are predominantly focused on methodology and tend to lack in the way of theological reflection. I was pleasantly surprised by the course this morning and look forward to checking more into their concentration on "spiritual theology". I am learning that Regent has a great reputation for interdisciplinary work and a rich tradition of engaging the realm of spiritual formation. It is great to get a chance to spend some time here and get a firsthand look at the culture of the school and the city. Nonetheless, more about having a baby in my next post.

read this book!

I just finished reading Godric by Fredrick Buechner. It is quite possibly the most beautiful portrait of the spiritual life that I have ever encountered. The story brought sin and human frailty head to head with the mercy of God and left me facing the darkness of my own soul with new eyes to seek the grace of God in places that I hoped I'd never have to revisit. Usually, the ugly truth about ourselves is stuffed and suppressed and becomes the persistent source of shame that dominates us with the fear that someday, someone will find out who we really are. Godric shows us a man who knows the depths of his own depravity, but through fierce asceticism, finds his shame tested, tried and broken by the raging and tender mercy of God. This might sound like a cheesy book review, but you really need to read this book, it's that good.

House of Mercy Sermon

Some of you know that I preached at the House of Mercy this past week and have asked if it will be online. Below is the link to the House of Mercy website where you can listen to my sermon and subscribe to their weekly podcast of sermons, which I highly recommend!

http://www.houseofmercy.org/content/view/310/40/

I'm not sure of it includes the scripture reading online, but I would suggest that you read it before you listen regardless. The scripture is Luke 14:15-24. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thanks!

hello again

Well, I'm not quite done with the craziness of our training season at YouthWorks, but I had a few minutes and realized that I haven't posted in over a month. Last week we had staff training in Denver, Pittsburg, Birmingham and El Paso/Juarez. I was able to visit 3 of the 4. This week we have about 70 people here in Minneapolis for training as well. It has been great to connect with those who are going out to lead and serve this summer in 77 different communities across North America. We work all year to prepare for these 300+ staff to come and take the batton and run with it at each of our sites, so it is encouraging to meet those who will be doing the running and to be reminded of the beauty of God's intimate involvement in all of our stories. Being at training is almost like looking at a mosaic... meeting different people, hearing their stories, watching them form relationships amongst their teams and their region, seeing God weave together the gifts, personalities, successes and failures of each of these people to do something that none of us could venture to do on our own. As we begin this summer with huge tasks ahead of us, I'm learning more and more how impossible it really is to follow Jesus. Some of the things we are trying to do at YouthWorks are way over our heads, and yet if we could do them ourselves, they would hardly be much worth doing.

Emergent Philosophical Conversation

I had the great priviledge to attend the emergent philosophical conversation in Philadelphia this week. John D. Caputo and Richard Kearney were the philosophers that led us in conversation on the topic of deconstruction and theology. Here are a few of the thoughts/questions that I walked away with:

Taking a deconstructionist approach to theology is at it's best when it chips away at the hardened crust of our institutionalized, monolithic, exclusivistic structures of "truth". It opens the possibility of generosity, inclusivity and love. It seeks not to destroy truth, but works toward truth's regeneration, reconstruction or reinvention.

What does this deconstructionist approach to theology look like practically applied? I took from the conversation a challenge to approach theological reflection with greater hermeneutical humility. This means I need to open myself to the questioning of my assumpions, opinions, even methodology. I must allow the structures of arrogance, exclusion and comfort to be torn down to create space for love to be reinvented and reimagined. I must seek not only to be heard, but to listen and be shaped by the presence and the stories of others.

How do we deconstruct youth ministry? How can those of us in youth ministry engage students in deconstructing their own culture, even the culture of the church? What idols have we created in youth ministry that need to be destroyed for something beautiful to be reborn? It is in these questions that I find much hope in deconstruction! To echo a phrase that was used this week, we need to start doing theology with a hammer and chisel!

Deutschland und Ostereich

I know, there should be an umlaut over the O, but I couln't find it on my computer. Nonetheless, we just returned from our visit to Germany and Austria. Our trip began in Munich, where the weissbier und wurst flowwed like milk and honey. We spent a few days searching the streets, taking in the culture and laboring to utilize my limited German vocabulary before being recognized as American and spoken to in English. How frustrating it is to be in a place where seemingly everyone maneuvers effortlessly between multiple languages while you strain to remember the appropriate definite articles of the most basic nouns. Despite the frustration over my own limitations, we had a wonderful time in Munich!

We then rented a car, hit the autobahn and made our way to Mittersill, Austria. After a sketchy drive through heavy snow in the alps, we reached the Schloss, a castle above the town of Mittersill which serves as an international learning community focused on bringing about a new "Christian Rennaisance" in Europe. Our friends the Olivia, Patrick and Sharon Pelham have spent quite a bit of time there over the years and so we wanted to visit, experience the culture of the community and see if it is a place where we might want to spent a few months or more some day. We had a great time talking with Norm and Donna and a number of others about the community and trying to get a feel for whether it would ever be a fit for us. While we did not walk away with much clarity in regards to that question, we certainly enjoyed our stay and the opportunity to connect with others from around the world who had like hearts and minds.

Making our way from Mitersill, we continued on to Salzburg Austria, the home of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and the Sound of Music. Interestingly, the Austrians detest the Sound of Music for obvious reasons, but the American tourists eat it up as we are often infatuated with our fabricated, hollywood picture of the world. Jenni and I would have no part in it! That is, until we found out that Salzburg has it's own 24-hour Sound of Music television station. Back to back Sound of Music, it's hard to resist. Of course, we only watched it in order to empathize with the Austrians over it's deplorability.

We did on the other hand attend a Mozart concert at the Schloss Mirabell. Beautiful! The musicians could not have been more that 20 years old and were outstanding. We had hiked up to the castles above the city earlier that day, our dinner that evening was wonderful, it truly was an amazing day spent with the most incredible woman in the world! And that was really the greatest joy of the trip, to spend a full week with Jenni and explore new places together. Our time gave me a whole new excitement for what is to come as we dream about spending a year overseas.

Finally, we made our way back towards Munich, stopping in Bernau to visit the place where Jordan (Jenni's brother) studied for a few months. Just outside of Munich we got an opportunity to visit Dachau, the first Nazi concentration camp in Germany. I cannot begin to describe the thoughts and feelings that I experianced as we walked those sobering grounds. For that I shall have to write in another post. Nonetheless, we are grateful for the opportunity to make that a part of our visit. We stayed out that entire evening because our flight was early the next morning. We had a blast taking in our last night in Munich, missed our flight the next morning due to daylight savings time (which we already had 2 weeks earlier in the states), and spent the next 2 days in airports. What more could one ask for, than to share the joys and frustrations of travel with the one you love! It was truly a gift and I am so very grateful.

When we get our pictures onto the computer I'll be sure to post a few.

free coffee!

Ha! I've found a way around this whole anti-consumer Lenten resolution thing. Oh, did I mention that I did after all sign up for the non-consumption pledge at my church. Well, no worries, because tomorrow from 10am-noon, Starbucks is giving away a free cup of coffee to all who enter. I realize that I've already admitted defeat in this area being that my ever-lengthening list of essentials already includes coffee, but man does this help put my conscience at ease! All this time I've been avoiding the great green consumer whore and then she goes and does something like this, so benevolent, so beautiful, so inviting...

How does she do it? Selling herself in mass commodity to any suspecting caffeine-crazed consumer who will dish out 3 dollars for a taste of her sweetness, and yet she continues to win my affections... my addiction. I feel so used. Will I ever break free from her twisted embrace? We have this codependency thing going, you see. Believe me, I've tried to end it, but I can't seem to figure out who I am without her. And even if I do find the courage to leave her, what will I do with REI? I mean, I can't not use my dividend.

carbon negative

I watched an inconvenient truth tonight and I think I want to become carbon neutral. I haven't much thought of myself of a carbon dioxide producer. I mean I breathe, which I suppose produces CO2, but I don't cut down rain forests in my spare time or anything. Nonetheless, this movie was a good reminder of the fact that I am a consumer. As a consumer, I consume energy and yet, my western mindset doesn't always connect the dots between my action and its global impact, especially when multiplied by 6.5 billion people. The United States consumes somewhere around 40% of the world's natural resources and creates over 30% of the world's carbon emissions. That's a big deal, with big consequences.

I read an article in Outside magazine about how the island of Samso off the coast of Denmark has become carbon negative, meaning that they not only zero out their carbon emissions, but actually export more energy that they consume. Why can't we do that? We could plead ignorance, but think it might have more to do with the fact that right now, we just don't care. But we have to care, or at least I do. Ghandi said, "Be the change that you want to see in the world." So I guess I'll start with me. I am going to ride the bus or my bike anywhere an everywhere that I can. I am going to tell people about the beautiful wind towers that span the horizon in Kulm, North Dakota where my wife's family farms. I am going to recycle. I am going to change the light bulbs in our home and support green energy (like district energy here in St. Paul) even if it costs me more in the near future, because ultimately, destroying the earth will cost us all much more in the long run. Beyond that, I am going to continue to believe that God created this earth for us care for it, not to abuse it.

Lent

I went to the first ash wednesday service of my life, I think. Or at least it's the only one I can remember ever going to. We prayed, meditated on scripture readings, got the sign of the cross marked on our foreheads in ashes, then went to a birthday party. The cake was quite good, home made, nothing but cool whip for frosting. Growwing up I wasn't much aware of the liturgical calendar. We just didn't talk about it at my church. We talked about things that were more relevant to our lives... relationships, finances, family... you know, practical stuff.

I remember that lent was the time when you could get two filet-o-fish sandwiches for 99 cents at McDonalds, and that you were supposed to give up stuff. This year at our church, we're talking alot about "economy" and how it influences us, our world, the church, our theology, etc... So they asked us to pledge to give up buying things other than the essentials. I've thought about trying to do that. I haven't quite signed up yet because I'm still weighing the reality to doing it for 40 days. Needless to say my list of essentials gets longer every day. How irrelevant, all that liturgical stuff! Self deprivation, ashes, mortality, suffering... I mean, how does that stuff affect my everyday life.

I read in my devotional book that the season of lent is a season of anticipation and hope. Hope from ashes?

Rethinking short term missions

In case you are unfamiliar with short term missions (STM), it has been a fast growing phenomenon here in the United States (among many other places) for students to take a week or more to get out of their home environment and serve in another community as a form of "mission" or fleshing out of their spirituality. Whether foreign or domestic, millions of people each year commit time and money to serve God on an STM trip. Because I work for an organization that hosts such trips, I was invited be a part of a think tank this past week at the National Youth Workers Convention in Anaheim to discuss best practices for such endeavors.

All that said, I simply want to record here some of the great questions and concerns that arose from our discussion. Most of us who have taken students on STM have traditionally seen the value of STM as two-fold; the first being to serve the community to which we are going (though many may differ in motive or method of service), and the second being to develop "life change" in the students who go to serve. While many have called into question the effectiveness of our service efforts and whether the ideas "short-term" and "mission" are oxymoronical, there has seemed to remain a consensus among many youth workers that the "life change" that is produced in the students who go is worth the investment in STM. In fact, many refer to the "life change" that happens in students not only as a primary outcome, but increasingly a primary objective.

So when the life change aspect of STM was called into question in recent research, many in the STM community, including myself, started asking some tough questions. Do STM trips really create life change? What does life change look like? What are the desired outcomes from an STM, and do our current practices (both as youth workers and STM agencies) effectively engage students in spiritual formation? Do students have any more cultural intelligence (CQ - an idea brought forth in David Livermore's "Serving with Eyes Wide Open") as a result of STM? What is needed for students to integrate learning from an STM into their theology and practice of spirituality? Does STM break down cultural barriers or reinforce stereotypes? Or as my friend Eric Iverson says, can we learn how to do "missions without pimpin' the poor?"

Don't get me wrong, I love teenagers... and I love the church... and I believe that STM have and can produce valuable growth in students. Yet, I must confess that there has been a severe lack of critical thinking and strategic development of STM in youth ministry. I am encouraged that the conversation is beginning and I feel that there are many who care enough about the students who we take on STM and the communities that we serve to not allow us to be satisfied with the status quo. So let the questions come, and let us do the hard work of integrating STM into the formation of missional students and transformational faith communities.

an impossible kingdom

I just keep running into these impossible words of Jesus in the Gospels. Like this scripture from Mark 10 that I'm supposed to teach on with Jr. High kids tomorrow morning, "go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." I've always thought about this as one of those non-literal things that Jesus said. How convenient for me! Jesus doesn't care about money, right? He just cares about my heart. That makes it a hell of a lot easier to follow at least.

So then Pastor Russell the other week asks, "what if it was about money?" What if I can't spiritualize it away as nice reminder to "give my all" to Jesus, whatever that means. As if I even give much of anything to Jesus. I have a hard time parting with my money, that's for sure. I like to use that on me. In fact, I can't name a whole lot of commandments that I don't break once you really get down to it. Especially if you define them like Jesus does in the sermon on the mount; if you're angry with your brother or sister you have committed murder in your heart, if you have looked at a woman or man lustfully you have committed adultery in your heart, etc...

It makes me think this whole entering the kingdom of heaven thing is pretty well, impossible. It's too bad I've spent most of my life trying to attain, or at least to appear to have attained some form or righteousness. And then you have Jesus, hangs out with hookers and drunks, crooked rich guys and homeless cripples. Says crazy stuff like, "but many who are first will be last, and the last first."

Where is the love?

Reading Steve Chapman's Op-Ed article in the Chicago Tribune this morning, I am struck by the moral inconsistency of the current administration. For a President that often wraps himself in the flag and the cross (which is paradoxical in and of itself), his policy on the treatment of detainees seems not only unamerican, but antithetical to Christianity. Such inconsistencies lead my to one of two conclusions; either the current administration is so wrapped up in its own righteous indignation that it is willing to sacrifice moral character in order to establish its power and authority, or they are simply using religious rhetoric to persuade the American public into believing that their agenda has any measure of a moral foundation. Either conclusion is downright frightening. At the intersection of the cross and the flag is almost always bloodshed. We are horrified when Islamic fundamentalists blow themselves up in a crowded public square, should we not also be horrified at the fact that over 100 detainees have died in US custody in Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and the likes?

The Bush administration has yet to learn from a rich tradition of Christians who have thoughtfully and faithfully engaged political and international crises while maintaining a moral high ground that would not compromise the most basic Christian teachings. Listen to the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time; the need for mankind to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love" (December 11, 1964). The policies set forth by the Bush administration leave me with the words of a U2 song, "I wonder where is the love, where is the love?"